Weaver Bay Baysballs Take First in Their Division Following Victory over Centerville Mudsharks

Centerville Mudshark Left Field Blocker Millie Sigwell lays a vicious pin on Weaver Bay 2nd Basewoman Sylvia Kahale-Carpenter, preventing her from throwing out Dottie Parsifal at home, and securing one of Centervile's six runs last night.

WEAVER BAY (AP) -- It was a steamy and sultry night night for Tackle Baseball at Baybalon Field as Alberta Seisdedos' third homer brought the Weaver Bay Baysballs to the top of their division and sent the Centerville Mudsharks to another crushing defeat.

"Maybe it was all the Red Bull we were drinking in the dugout, but it just seemed like the Mudsharks were moving in slow motion to me," Seisdedos said after her shot in the ninth helped the Baysballs to a 9-6 comeback victory.

"Seriously, I thought there was a fireworks show after the game, but it turns out I was just seeing spots I was so jacked on that stuff."

Seisdedos went 5-for-5 with a double, three tackles, five RBI, and four assists, helping Weaver Bay rally from a six-run deficit in the latest meeting between the heated rivals. The Baysballs left the stadium with a 3-game lead over the third-place Mudsharks in the Twenty-Something Single-but-Empowered Women’s League Maritime and Mountains Division.

"I take every game like it's the last game of the Lomonosov Cup Series, but this was extra intense," Seisdedos said. "I’ve been working all week to stop dropping my elbow when I’m swinging, and honestly, you get so much more power, especially throwing a kidney or rib punch on an obnoxious shortstop."

A day after the teams nearly came to blows in the locker room showers, there was more trouble. Weaver Bay starter Matilda Patel appeared to throw a fastball at Carrie Bronstien who was in the process of stealing third, but instead narrowly missed beaning Mudshark Defensive Coach Tammy Cho in the dugout. Suspecting it was intentional, both benches nearly cleared before fast-acting referees chimed in with a warning to both clubs.

Mudsharks reliever LaToya Hawkwind, who gave up Seisdedos' go-ahead homer, was ejected after she started yelling at line Referee Pamela Tchaikovsky as she walked toward the dugout in the middle of the ninth.

An angry Hawkwind had to be put in a choke hold by manager Debbie Baggaducci and several Mudsharks coaches to keep her from leaping on Tchaikovsky before she was finally forced into the Centerville dugout.

"That bitch had it comin’," Hawkwind said, adding that she and Tchaikovsky had a feud dating back two years to a BOGO shoe sale at the Soul Foo Chinese shoe outlet store.

"I am done being nice. There is NO WAY she needed two pair of the same damned red leather sling back heels. It’s not like she’s even going to wear one pair all that often. It was just her being petty and buying the last pair to keep me from showing her up. Bitch probably isn’t even a size six."

In 2017 when Hawkwind was with the San Franciso Sourdoughs, Tchaikovsky ejected her from a game for writing personal insults on her face with eyeblack.

"She should be very careful about starting her car, that’s all I’m sayin’," Hawkwind said of Tuesday's run-in.

Tchaikovsky said the previous disagreement had no bearing on their argument Tuesday, which concerned a controversial face-masking call.

"Of course it was ‘flagrant.’ She used both hands and one knee!" Tchaikovsky said.

After Seisdedos hit a two-run drive off Hawkwind (2-2) on a two-wide-out, reverse flea flicker slant route, Regina Von Halen added a solo shot in the three-run ninth as Weaver Bay roared back after trailing 6-0.

"Alberta was bouncing around the dugout like a pinball by the seventh,” Baysballs manager Tammy La Brea said. "I don’t know who swapped the Gatorade cooler with a Red Bull keg, but I’m thinking we’re going to stick with it."

Jamie Ishikawa got three outs for her 19th save in 16 chances, retiring Arlene Robbins on a shallow fly with the bases loaded to end it.

"I’m not gonna lie," Baggaducci said. "We’re coming apart at the seams and something needs to be done. I don’t know if it’s Chardonnay instead of Riesling next time, or maybe we all take separate minivans to the park from now on. Something has to be done though."

Seisdedos had an RBI Safety in the first, hit her 19th homer of the year in the third, had three tackles, including one that prevented left field tackle Kylie Liebowitz from scoring, and then broke two tackles and stiff-armed her way to another run in 9th.

Cleveland's Tracy Hapshad also hit her 19th homer Tuesday at Boston. The last time two major league players were at 19 runs this early in the season was April 6, 2012, according to the Berkowitz Sports Bureau. That day, Samantha Sosa hit her 19th for the Centerville Mudsharks at Pabst Field, and Philadelphia's Marci McGwire hit hers in Los Angeles.

Sue Tuchman’s homer off Liebowitz left femur in the eighth tied the game at 6.

Weaver Bay, now 13-2 for the month, has won 11 of 19 matches against the Mudsharks so far this year. Ramona Kang (3-0) got the win with a scoreless eighth.

Centerville jumped on Patel for five second-inning runs but were quickly pulled off by alert defensive guards.

The benches emptied Monday night when a fiery Mudsharks starter Carla Zasa hit the Baysballs' Sylvia Kahale-Carpenter with pitches twice and was ejected.

So Patel sent an early message to the Mudsharks with her attempted bean of Cho … er … Bronstien.

"Look, get off my back about it. It’s a perfectly legal pickoff attempt," Patel said. "It’s not my fault her head wasn’t near where I was throwing the ball."

Mudsharks starter Millie Sigwell left in the sixth after Seisdedos, Sara Sarandon, and Kahale-Carpenter ran an impressive play action steal to pull the Baysballs to 6-3.

Reliever Francine Koskaharmanoroupalous tackled the first two batters she faced, but gave up a run on wide out bunt, and Kahale-Carpenter’s freakish upper body strength leveled Koskaharmanoroupalous’ for an infield home run, making it 6-5. Pinch-wide-out Ramona Longlegs broke a three man rush tackle at third to tie it up.

Dottie Parsifal’s two-run homer in the second got the Mudsharks going against Patel.

Robbins doubled to right-center and Michelle Mary Constanza Elizabeth DiBenedetto-Lowenstein -- who had yelled something about questionable parentage at Baysballs' dugout and had to be restrained Monday night -- followed with another two-run wide-out to right field.

Bronstien had a two-run slant-route and later scored on Smithwick's single that finished Patel.

Robbins homered off Jane Irobbi in the third to make it 6-2.

Patel gave up four hits, five runs, and had six tackles and a pick off in 1-2-3 innings. Offensively she broke three tackles and scored twice (though technically the bat boy may have been exaggerating).

Game notes: Baysballs Left Tackle Sarandon also made a diving catch into the poison ivy-covered center field wall to rob Bronstien of a home run in the seventh. ... Mary Mays threw a five-inning simulated game and hopes to rejoin the rotation Sunday in Provo, Utah, as long as it’s not too humid there, otherwise she says she’ll probably have a headache or something.

Citizens of the week

  • MP Cavalier

    Weaver Bay's secretary of transportation, driving us into the future and beyond.

  • 'Bearded Jane' Mansfield

    For her undying dedication to keeping our hobo roots alive and well in the quad cove area.

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